Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Nature imitates technology
Scientists have described a species of sponge that captures prey by using a barriccade of hooked filaments.
http://www.nature.com/news/new-carnivorous-harp-sponge-discovered-in-deep-sea-1.11789
The article describes the hooks as being
Velcro-like. The author may have been unaware that the hooks on Velcro were inspired by the hooks on various burrs and seeds.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Ways to become a Republic
The Queen, Queen
Elizabeth, Queen of the United Kingdom and Australia, has died.
I
The Prime
Minister of Australia announces this news to the nation.
“My fellow
citizens, I have to inform you that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, has died
after a short illness. The cabinet has met and we have decided that we will not
be reappointing the House of Windsor as our royal family. A decision on the
future of a monarchy, if any, in Australia will be decided in due course. All
State Governors are forthwith dismissed and in the interim, the Chief
Magistrate of each state will take over their duties. The office of Governor
General is also being made redundant and their duties will be carried out by
the Chief Justice of Australia.”
II
“Fuck” said
the Prime Minister, “I'm late!”
“Something
important?” asked the Prime Minister's bed companion.
“Just the
swearing of allegiance ceremony”
“What?”
“Where I'm
supposed to bind Australia to the British Monarchy. We're supposed to do it for
all new kings and queens.”
“So you
missed it, because you wanted another fuck. Is it a big deal?”
“Not sure.
Not a lot of precedence for either the ceremony or what happens if you don't do
it, the swearing bit, I mean.”
“Well, why
not come back to bed and we can have another fuck and then you can ask one of
your advisors. Come on, I want you again.” She pushed back the bedclothes to
expose herself. “Come on, I'm waiting”.
The Prime
Minister of the day was not an ardent loyalist and had enjoyed a really good
night. He returned to bed.
The
headlines the next day in the News of the Daily Mail “Oz Traitors – Australians
refuse to swear loyalty oath.”
From there
it just escalated to the point where no Australian action could save the
situation. So the Australian Prime Minister went home and appointed himself as
Head of State indefinitely. Which annoyed a few people who wanted to be Head of
State themselves. But he got the Army to send them to Norfolk island so all was
well.
III
Introducing
the Search for the Head SA; with competitors from every State.
The Head SA
– Head of State of Australia.
Competitors
will have to survive a number of elimination challenges to gauge their fitness
to be the next Head SA. Contestants will have to be able to speak for five
minutes without saying anything; sign State Papers without reading them and
announce winners with appropriate adjectives. The final decision will be made by the people of Australia in a telephone vote following a live
performance by the final five contestants at the Meyer Music Bowl. The winner
will become the Head of State of Australia for the next five years.
The Search for the Head SA is proudly sponsored by Channel 9 and the AFL
Applications
open now.
IV
“Your
Majesty, we seem to have a problem”
“And…”
“It's like
this. When we sent out requests to the various Commonwealth countries to send
someone to attend your coronation and to pledge allegiance to your majesty,
someone in the Commonwealth Office made a mistake. We've banished him now to
the Falkland Islands, but…”
“What
happened?”
“We sent the
invitation to Austria instead of Australia”
“Seems no
big problem. Just explain to the Austrians what happened and get the Aussies
here instead. They'll understand.”
“That's the
problem or problems. The Austrians are pleased to accept the invitation and
become part of the Commonwealth, better than Europe they say, not so many rules
and better Games. And the Australians are extremely upset and have gone off in
bit of a huff and are preparing a referendum to become a republic and leave the
Commonwealth.”
“Bother. Can't
we send the Aussies somebody, to persuade them to change their minds? What are
Anne's girls up to this week?”
“We've thought
of that. Everybody is tied up with the coronation. And the Austrian delegation have
already arrived in London.”
“Bother!”
Monday, February 20, 2012
Ultimate Proof
There can be no greater proof of the inability of the mind to control external matter than the continued refusal of golf balls to disobey the laws of physics.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Confusion
I can't help confusing Quentin Bryce, who is the Queen we have when we haven't got the Queen, with Quentin Blake, the illustrator ( or is it with Quentin Crisp, the Naked Civil Servant?). I did have to wonder why one of the Quentins who were in Darwin today felt it appropriate to commend the sacrifices of those who survived the bombing.
This Quentin
reportedly said "This anniversary helps us remember those we helped shape our future as a strong and self-reliant nation actively involved in world affairs." One supposes she actually said those
who helped, but I thought that the bombing of Darwin was followed by some panic and a mass evacuation.
The National Archives The Bombing of Darwin Fact sheet
195 says
In the hours following the air raids on 19 February, believing that an invasion was imminent, Darwin's population began to stream southwards, heading for Adelaide River and the train south. Approximately half Darwin's civilian population ultimately fled. The panic in the town was repeated at the RAAF base, where servicemen deserted their stations in great numbers. Three days after the attack 278 servicemen were still missing. The exodus south (which later became known as 'The Adelaide River stakes'), and the looting and disorder which subsequently occurred, led the government to hurriedly appoint a Commission of Inquiry led by Mr Justice Lowe which issued two reports, one on 27 March and the other on 9 April 1942.
Hardly shaping our future as strong and self reliant!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sport
There's an advertisement for the AFL that features Eddie McGuire talking about why he enjoys the sport. It actually highlights, for me, some reasons I don't like the sport.
Eddie mentions the tribes. What sport can do is to provide another why of dividing people. Instead of being appreciative of the sport itself and its players' skills, one becomes a Collingwood or Geelong supported and the sworn enemy of the supporters of the other teams. How is this a good thing? Good players and teams can surely be appreciated for their own talent. Where is the need to attach the fervent team support to them as well?
I know the answer of course. We, humans, find it all too easy to divide the world into us and them. We are not comfortable with thinking that every else has the same rights as we do, has the same basic feeling that we do. Two AFL fans should get on better than a Soccer fan and an AFL fan, but only if the two AFL fans belong to the same tribe. Otherwise, they will see nothing in common.
Eddie McGuire says that AFL is the best thing god invented. And I thought it was sex. But it's alright. God didn't invent AFL (or anything else, not having any existence), some Melbourne cricketers invented a game that become the marketing vehicle for the AFL.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Masterchef
Sunday 17th June
What a nauseating episode of Masterchef with the crew and contestants fawning over the Dalai Lama.
Who'd have thought that Matt Preston was a Tibetan Buddhist.
And the multiple-blessed food. It couldn't have known where its spiritual home was with so many gods being invoked over it. I'm sure it tasted no better for all the words.
And the awful product placement by some of the guests who couldn't say something nice about the food without including a superfluous platitude about world hunger or the like.
Not a high point of the series!
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Peter Craven fails to deliver
In the feature article in this week's Weekend Australian's Review, Peter Craven talks about the King James Bible. Although its not fair to criticise an article for what is it not, Peter's seems to lack any raison d'etre.
It's 400 years since the publication of the Authorised (by the King) Version of the Bible. Peter Craven's article adds little to any understanding of this phenomenon. He does not discuss why it was commissioned and authorised. He does not tell us who the translators were. And although he tries to make the case that this version had influenced English literature, he fails to mention why this might be so .
Any material repeated weekly to most the population is bound to have an effect on the literature and speech of that population. Consider how quickly catch-phrases have spread from radio and television programs.
It would be interesting to know about the politics behind the decision to commission an Authorised version. Why didn't Elizabeth do it? Why not her father Henry VIII? I feel there is a whole book on the events leading up to the publication of the Authorised Version. There is a good-sized essay on the translators themselves. How
How was the Bible received at the time? Remember that James I was the target of the Gunpowder Plot and the cause of much Puritan emigration; so not everyone agreed with his ideas.
Unfortunately, Peter Craven doesn't touch on any of this.
